Saturday, June 04, 2005

Our little boy is all grown's up tonight, you know what your all growns up yeah ya you dig that, is this a production for you, cause you're grown's up



So, it has been awhile...I know, I know...
And, I feel my life shifting...

I'm becoming mature (a little...I think)

After spending three weeks in Bloomington, IN (where I met an off-duty ninja who was captain of her kung-fu team, a D&D boy obsessed with cannibalism and had a huge real life boar's head in his bathroom and an army reserve with the sickest dead baby jokes that were so off color I felt dirty even snickering at them) working like a dog and earning huge bonus points with the corporate head haunchos...I feel the need to start defining my career and going for it (yeah, my little secret is out...I like careers and I'm the bestest team player...work is actually fun for me)

Ironically, I've moved into my fraternity house...with the four other boys (younger, sexy, virile male specimens...lots of walking around in boxers, D'Angelo playing in the wee hours of the morning and lounging about in bathrobes drinking scotch straight from the bottle)...nothing like a party house to balance out the managerial work attitude...

And, at the moment, I'm in Boston...typing this entry surrounded by old children's books, matchbox cars, stuffed animals, original Star Wars posters (my brother and I are convinced they are worth some big money now), marbles, Cabbage Patch premies, framed elementary school watercolors, sculptures from pottery class, albums of photos documenting my life from 27 seconds to 27 years...as I take sips from my old Masters of the Universe cartoon cup (which I'm totally snatching from here when I leave)...and it is weird to hear my parents speak of selling this house in the next five years...I don't want them to...I want all the childhood shit my mom has been hoarding for years to stay put...I'm still using the same towel I did 15 years ago...it's so comforting...

But, I'm here to see the baby graduate high school...we are young adults...doing young adult things ("young adult" should be used very loosely in some instances)...last night, my brothers came home drunk...just to climb onto the basement couches with me and pass out...together...yes, we are different and growing older, but inside we are still the same three siblings that can revert back to our childhood roles within seconds...

I think it is so hard for me because I'm so far away from starting my own family...maybe, all I need is to know this sanctuary will soon cease to exist and "coming home" will have to be redefined...

I got the heavy off my chest so I can now move onto the dirty-dirty I've missed writing and exploring....


ps...I'm on the little tyke's computer and the girl he took to prom is IM-ing him because he won't call his ex-girlfriend...she's actually calling him a "stupid bastard"...and, I'm sooo mature now that I'm considering fucking with her head...but, that's mean...so, I'll think about it some more before I do it...